The Princess and the Plumber: in Beast to Beauty by Lutz M. David

Author:Lutz, M. David
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Independently published
Published: 2020-02-07T00:00:00+00:00

SCENE 22

The knights and their entourage traveled through villages, hamlets, farms, and castles without hassles, until they misread the map. They were promptly apprehended by a band of man-hating mammoth-sized warrior women who looked like they were Olympic weightlifters on steroids—allegedly. They were from the Amazon Kingdom, which specialized in mail-order merchandise, a united sisterhood that believed all men were ‘no good.’ Most of the male children upon birth were sold to distant kingdoms, keeping only enough for slaves, breeding with only the finest of specimens. The captives were bound and marched to the center of their kingdom. Chained together, they were paraded through the streets lined by scantily clad buxom denizens that mocked and scorned the men on their way to prison.

When they arrived, they were stripped and searched thoroughly.

“From the looks of these fools,” said one guard to another, “they must have come from the shallow end of the gene pool.”

“As slaves, they would be useless as they are too soft and slow.”

Gal-I-Had asked smoothly, “Ladies, can we all just get along? I am sure that we can develop some sort of relationship before too long. What say we meet over dinner with a bottle of wine and work things out between you and me?” Gal-I-Had’s charms had not made a dent, at least not like the one on the side of his head where the largest Amazon had kicked him. He was propped against the wall, drooling and mumbling, making no sense at all, or less than usual.

Laugh-a-Lot thought a bit of humor would do the trick, so he tried to jest his way out of the predicament. “I must say, ladies, before I normally get to this level of foreplay, I’ve been treated to dinner and a play.” He, too, found himself next to Gal-I-Had with a matching dent on the side of his head. The rest of the men thought it best to just keep silent.

“You interlopers have been found guilty of trespassing,” shouted the head Amazon, “by order of Queen Octavia, after a few days of torture your heads shall be severed.” The thought of such a death made them all a bit tense…that is until the guard explained it was not those heads she meant.

They all commenced to cry like little children. They would have preferred death to such a punishment. There was no Chateaubriand Steak or Bananas Foster for dessert that night. The prisoners ate stale bread, in the dark, wrapped in filthy rags, lying on a cold stone floor, trying to sleep to a chorus of unmanly muffled sobs as rats scurried about.

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